From the Ancient Olympic games in 776 BC to the Winter Olympic games this year, we’ve been captivated by the limits of the human body and athleticism demonstrated by (almost all) Olympians. Sometimes the games are worth watching (figure skating), while others are not (curling). What we want to see though, are some sexy sports that are often ignored (as some say they should be). Here are 10 incredibly sexy “sports” that should be in the Olympics.
Jell-O Wrestling
Seeing two taut, young, sweaty, scantily-clad women have at it in a wrestling match isn’t always a fun experience — let’s face it, not all professional women fighters are hot. Throw some Jell-O and bikinis into the mix, make sure the girls are hot, and things can get quite entertaining. Imagine Jell-O wrestling as an Olympic sport; there’s already wrestling for medals, but this would be ten times better. Mud wrestling was initially considered here, but Jell-O is far more slippery — and tasty.
Surfing
Surfing is one of those sports that actually is pretty hardcore, but still isn’t considered an Olympic sport. There’s curling, but no surfing, seriously? Either way, there are serious competitions in the sport, and if you ever get the chance to watch any of the women compete — we highly recommend it. If you somehow don’t find the sport watchable, at least check out the tight surf tops and micro bikini bottoms the chicks wear. It’s not difficult, there are literally hundreds of calendars dedicated to it. Maybe if you’re lucky, someone will lose a piece of swimwear in the crashing waves — live on camera.
Roller Derby
Roller Derby is an American-invented contact sport, with a definite female predominance — and we don’t mind it one bit. Most circuits are amateur unpaid gigs, but we believe it should be considered an Olympic sport. Anyone who thinks these roller girls aren’t athletes should take a closer look: these girls could kick your ass — and then take your lunch money. They come out of bouts with some wicked battle wounds at times, and their uniforms usually consist of fishnets in some form, underwear, and a bra.
Competitive Runway
Ok, it may seem ridiculous, but think about it for a second. These women strutting the catwalk are there for a reason, and it’s because they’re not unattractive — in fact, they’re hot. These female specimens are meant to model clothes, and even if the wraithlike type of model isn’t your thing, well, there are all shapes and colors to enjoy. Imagine how challenging it is putting on such a serious face, and having to walk flawlessly in towering heels with thousands of eyes gazing at you, watching your every move. Still not convinced? Get Bowie to judge it, like in Zoolander.
Strip Poker
There have been debates on whether or not poker should be included as an Olympic sport, and many shun it simply because it’s not “athletic enough.” Again, we’ll drop curling in here as the perfect example of Olympian non-athleticism. That aside, we think that not only should poker be included as an Olympic sport, but that it should be spiced up — as strip poker. Watching a group of dudes around a table can get dry, but throw in some women removing articles of clothing? Count us in.
Bikini Tug O War
We realize that tug of war might not seem like a real sport, but it is — they even have world championships. It can be fun watching a bunch of guys fall onto each other when losing at tug of war, but it would be even better with a bunch of bikini-clad women. We couldn’t really find any pictures to do this example justice, so we turned to this amazing video of Asian hotties playing tug o war and getting messy to fairly ridiculous proportions.
Cheerleading
While cheerleaders started off — and often stay — at the sidelines, the sport has become widely competitive. Those little tarts cheering for the Dallas Cowboys aren’t the only cheerleaders we’re talking about here, though they are pretty hot. The tumbling, stunting, toe-touching, and microscopically “mini” uniforms should be more than enough to get your engine revving. For now we will have to settle with the cheerleaders on the sidelines at the Olympic volleyball games — yummy.
Miniskirt Billiards
Pool is technically recognized by the IOC as an Olympic sport, it has still NOT been in the Olympic games — though it did come close to being in the 2004 Summer Olympics. Maybe next time around in 2012 the committee will select pool, and allow all female participants to wear super miniskirts like the ones shown above. It would make viewers more than happy.
Lingerie Football
Yes, the Lingerie Football League is real, and it comes in the form seven-on-seven tackle football. The origins of this kinky sport lie in the halftime Lingerie Bowl of the Super Bowl — it was so popular that it was created into a league. It’s full-contact, so the girls do have to wear some protective gear, like shoulder pads, elbow pads, knee pads, and ice hockey-style helmets. A few more teams have been announced for next season, but we so wish this would spread internationally.
Pole Dancing
Pole dancing is often associated with strippers, but it can be a legitimate performing art that requires extreme body discipline. There is a movement worldwide attempting to get it recognized as an actual sport — it does include a bit of gymnastics after all. While we don’t see this becoming an Olympic sport any time soon — despite the push for it — we can only hope to see it in 2012. For now, the Miss Pole Dance World competition will have to suffice.
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